Making the undiscussable discussable

Making the undiscussable discussable

Parents and caregivers of a child with a serious illness or condition find it important to be able to discuss difficult questions and choices (also known as ethical dilemmas). This isn't always easy. The goal of this project is to make the "unspeakable" discussable, both in the consultation room, between caregivers, and within the family. This will break taboos and reduce discomfort.

Making the undiscussable discussable

Clarifying which topics are considered unmentionable

To ensure that the tools will effectively meet practical needs, a preliminary study was conducted. Various literature and parental accounts were reviewed to identify areas considered unacceptable.

The literature review reveals that little is known about what parents find difficult to discuss. However, parents frequently write about topics they find very difficult to discuss through their experiences in the experience meter.

Examples of themes include:
• guilt and shame
• the impact of the disease on parents
• the family dynamics
• end-of-life decision-making.


Reasons cited include parents or families feeling unseen or unheard, and taboos that hinder discussion. Other reasons include healthcare providers not considering these topics as part of child and family care. These results and insights can be found in the report below and will later be translated into practical guidelines.

View the reports from the exploratory phase

Delve deeper into why certain topics are off-limits

To discuss these topics, it's important to understand why they're difficult to discuss and what other related topics might be involved. Discussions are held with various parents and caregivers from various perspectives.

• during value dialogues with healthcare providers from various professional associations, discussing the quality of life and dying.
• interviews with parents about their experiences with the 'unspeakable', to explore the topics further.

The goal of these conversations is to gain insights so that we can jointly define the concept of "unspeakable" and its themes. These insights will be used to develop appropriate tools for discussion .


Value dialogues: doctors discussing sensitive topics

Difficult topics such as "quality of life" and "suffering" often play a role in doctors' decisions regarding the care of seriously ill children. Open communication about these topics contributes to better care and support. Yet, in practice, this isn't always self-evident, and these topics often remain undiscussed.

That's why, together with the Royal Dutch Medical Association (KNMG), we're organizing four value dialogues in which doctors openly discuss difficult topics and ethical dilemmas. This way, we aim to shed light on what makes certain topics difficult to discuss, both among doctors and in discussions with children and parents. By engaging in dialogue, doctors become more aware of their own perspectives and those of their colleagues. This contributes to an open culture of discussion, creating space for reflection and better handling the dilemmas these topics entail.

Intended for deepening and inspiration

Value dialogues are intended to be both exploratory and in-depth and are not intended to lead directly to formal positions or solutions. They provide in-depth exploration of specific issues and serve as inspiration and focus for formulating next steps.

Praatplaat
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A talking picture that invites conversation

To encourage discussion, a discussion board has been created. This tool was developed by experts with lived experience, parents, healthcare professionals, and researchers who feel connected to this topic.

“May I come in?”

The poster depicts a house under a glass dome. To the outside world, it's a normal house, but to the family, it's full of worries. Different worlds that don't always understand each other. A house was chosen because parents of children requiring intensive care often say:

"Let caregivers spend some time with us at home. Then they'll see what it means to provide care day and night for a lifetime and the impact it has."

Healthcare providers are shown in a long line in front of the bell jar, looking for an entrance. The sign encourages them to ask: "May I come in?"


Different rooms, different themes

The house contains several rooms, each with its own theme. These spaces can reveal themes and feelings that are often overlooked or tell stories that remain unsaid.

To invite

The house on the poster invites conversation, questions, and the unspeakable to be addressed. By looking together at the present and the future, we ask: what do you need? This helps parents feel supported and caregivers demonstrate their commitment. Participants decide for themselves what they want to show and discuss with the poster, ensuring that what needs attention is addressed.

Share your story

The chart will be further expanded in the coming period with stories and links to other relevant information. We invite parents and caregivers to view the chart and share their experiences of using it, so it becomes a helpful resource for everyone.

Help other parents, share your experience!

Your experience shows us what's going well and what could be improved, both at home and in the hospital. This way, you contribute to improving pediatric palliative care.

Developing support and tools to bring the 'unspeakable' to the table

Based on the gathered needs and insights, we develop support and tools that help bring the "unspeakable" to the table. The goal is for children, young people, parents, and healthcare professionals to experience fewer topics as unspeakable. This makes it easier for them to discuss values, wishes, and needs with each other early on and to experience less discomfort.


More information about the project

Ethische dilemma’s worden vaak als onbespreekbaar ervaren. Maar wat is een ethisch dilemma eigenlijk? Een ethisch dilemma is een soort tweestrijd, waarbij twee verschillende waarden botsen. Het kiezen voor de ene waarde (bijvoorbeeld autonomie/ eigen regie) gaat daarbij ten koste van de andere waarde (weldoen/ het goede doen). Een ethisch dilemma in de kinderpalliatieve zorg kan bijvoorbeeld de keuze zijn of een kind wel of geen levensverlengende ingreep/behandeling moet ondergaan. 

Het project ‘Het onbespreekbare bespreekbaar maken’ bestaat uit een drietal fasen: 

  1. Exploreren en prioriteren: verkrijgen van inzicht welke thema’s als onbespreekbaar worden ervaren en welke daarbij prioriteit hebben.
  2. Verdiepen: inhoud geven aan de onbespreekbaarheid en het verder verkennen van deze thema’s samen met stakeholders en belanghebbenden uit het veld. Door middel van interviews met ouders en waardendialogen met zorgprofessionals vanuit relevante beroepsverenigingen over kwaliteit van leven en kwaliteit van sterven. 
  3. Ontwikkelen van instrumenten en ondersteuning: de inzichten uit fase 1 en 2 gebruiken voor het ontwikkelen van passende handvatten die gezinnen en professionals met elkaar en onderling ondersteunen om het onbespreekbare op tafel te krijgen en hierover gemakkelijker met elkaar in gesprek te gaan, zoals de praatplaat. 

Het project is voortgekomen uit de dialoogtafels ‘Gaan voor de hoop met oog voor de beperkingen’ die tussen 2020 en 2022 zijn georganiseerd door het Kenniscentrum Kinderpalliatieve Zorg en stichting 2CU. Ouders van kinderen met een zeer ernstig verstandelijk meervoudige beperking (ZEVMB) en zorgprofessionals spraken over thema’s rondom kwaliteit van leven en sterven en de grenzen daaraan.

Deze waardevolle bijeenkomsten hebben meerwaarde laten zien om het gesprek aan te gaan met ouders over wat voor hen belangrijk is. En daarbij niet alleen aandacht te hebben voor het medische stuk maar voor het hele plaatje (holistische kijk). De ervaring is dat het ongemak om moeilijke kwesties te bespreken voor zowel ervaringsdeskundige ouders als zorgprofessionals belemmerend kan zijn.

Ervaren werd hoe belangrijk het is dat in alle openheid thema’s besproken kunnen worden en het onbespreekbare boven tafel kan komen. Daarom is besloten dit onderwerp als speerpunt terug te laten komen op de kennisagenda en het project op te nemen als onderdeel van maatschappelijke bewustwording binnen NPPZ II - Kind en Jongere. 

In dit project werken we nauw samen met ervaringsdeskundige ouders en zorgprofessionals. De projectgroep wordt gevormd door een ervaringsdeskundige ouder, ethicus, geestelijk verzorger en een onderzoeker in de kinderpalliatieve zorg. Het Kenniscentrum ZEVMB en de KNMG zijn betrokken bij de uitvoering van dit project en de verspreiding van inzichten en handvatten.

Het onbespreekbare bespreekbaar maken van onderwerpen rondom het ernstig zieke kind is één van de doelen van het Nationaal Programma Palliatieve Zorg II (NPPZ II). Het is een deelproject binnen het project maatschappelijke bewustwording over kinderpalliatieve zorg. Meer informatie vind je op:  

NPPZ II –Kind en Jongere

News about making the undiscussable discussable

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Neem dan contact op met:

Kenniscentrum Kinderpalliatieve Zorg