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Spiritual care

When you are confronted with (the possibility of) the end of life as a child and parent, you are touched in your deepest sense of life. This can raise questions such as: “Why me/we?”. On the other hand, as a child, parent, sibling, you are consciously or unconsciously looking for positive meaning. What has value right now, what gives strength? What remains of bright spots in all the uncertainty?


Points of attention

Lasting connections

Children find their own way in the confrontation with the end of life. Not so much in words, but more in being creative. Drawing, playing or reading books, watching movies together or in music. The idea of lasting connections is central, which is important for your sick child and as a parent(s) and family as a whole: “we will never forget you”, “we carry you in our hearts”, “we will always stay connected” and maybe even: “we will meet again”.

Meaning questions

In the palliative process, you as a child and family can be touched in your view of life or your faith. This affects how you feel, both positively and negatively, and can influence your choices. The culture you come from also plays a role in this.

Role of faith

Many people seek strength from God or Allah. It can be very nice if you can tell healthcare professionals what that means for you. Keeping hope and monitoring how you feel are important. It is always important that you as a parent(s) and child can indicate your own needs/vision/desires. Because with every culture or religion, the personal interpretation remains the biggest reason why you choose something.

Rituals

Praying together or reciting texts from the Quran or the Bible can help. A baptism or anointing of the sick can also be desired for Christian patients, for example. Ritual objects such as power stones, a memory box, angels, but also small Korans and bibles, etc. can give the feeling that you belong together and thus offer comfort.

Role of spiritual caregiver

Some parents need to think (sometimes for the first time) about death and the images they have of it. Some parents can also think about the funeral at a reasonably early stage. Spiritual counselors can offer help in this quest. It is important for everyone that chaplains follow the family in this. And not think something “that parents should think about”. The family determines what they need. You don't have to be religious at all to be able to ask a chaplain for help.

Spiritual counselors can:

  • helping parents and children, whatever faith they may be, if there are important questions about life and they would like to talk about them;
  • provide information about the specific experiences within beliefs or cultures and advise on the way in which you can talk to your family;
  • be called in or mediate in the performance of (religious) rituals, such as baptisms;
  • pray or recite scriptures with all members of the family together or separately;
  • manage symbolic memorial objects that match the wishes of the family at that time. Other disciplines can also offer these ritual objects.
The text has been carefully composed in collaboration with drs. Nette Falkenburg, chaplain and researcher Erasmus MC-Sophia Children's Hospital.