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Aftercare after the loss of your child

Aftercare after the loss of your child

Aftercare is the care and support that parents, siblings, and sometimes other loved ones receive after the death of a child. Aftercare helps the family cope step by step with the loss and the new reality. The caregiver who already knows the family, often the pediatric nurse, offers support, explanation, peace of mind, and stability.

Aftercare after the loss of your child

Why aftercare is important

When a child dies, parents and any siblings must reconnect with their lives. While your child is no longer physically present, the bond remains. That bond gradually transforms. This process can evoke significant tension and painful emotions. Aftercare provided by caregivers who know the family well can support this process. It helps to reflect on what happened and get answers to questions. This support in the initial period after the death helps prevent complicated grief and contributes to greater peace and stability in the long term.

What does aftercare include?

1. Attention and support surrounding the death

  • Sharing care for the child (e.g. washing, dressing) if parents feel comfortable with this.
  • Assisting with practical matters such as laying out the body and removing materials from the home.
  • Ensure a calm and respectful end to care.

2. Aftercare discussions with healthcare providers

Aftercare meetings usually take place about six to eight weeks after the death of a child. Parents and caregivers reflect together. The meeting provides an opportunity for:

  • Looking back on the care and the last period.
  • Discuss what went well and what raises questions.
  • Helping to understand why certain choices have been made in healthcare.
  • Share how you are doing, as a parent and as a family.

This is often done with a pediatric nurse who already knows the family well and who remains a trusted contact. Clarity about the course of the illness and the care provided helps parents move forward.

3. Attention for the whole family

  • How are the parents and siblings doing?
  • Are there signs of prolonged or stalled grief?
  • Do you need additional help from a grief counselor, psychologist or spiritual counselor?

During aftercare sessions, caregivers assess how each family member is doing. They watch for signs of overload, depression, anxiety, or stagnant grief. If necessary, they provide referrals to specialized support services such as a grief counselor, psychologist, or spiritual counselor.

4. Information and support

Many parents are in a daze during the end-of-life phase. It's precisely then that it's difficult to understand what aftercare options are available. Caregivers explain what to expect, what support is available, and how the family can move forward during this difficult time.

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Practical tools

The emBRACE study examined how parents experience the loss and grief surrounding the death of their child, and what helps them. The results led to the development of practical tools, including videos featuring parents' experiences and aftercare conversations, information for parents, and guidance for healthcare providers. The materials were developed in collaboration with parents who have experienced this themselves, supplemented with the expertise of healthcare professionals.

Revision of the guideline on palliative care for children

The revised Palliative Care for Children guideline, which was revised in 2022, also includes a section on loss, grief, and aftercare. This section outlines, among other things, the components that aftercare/bereavement care should include. The Palliative Care for Children guideline provides professionals, parents, and caregivers with tools and a reference guide to further improve the care of children with life-shortening or life-threatening illnesses and their families.

Aftercare in the Pediatric Nursing teaching module

A specific teaching module has been developed on the psychosocial aspects of pediatric palliative care, which also addresses aftercare. This module is incorporated into the curricula of several (continuing) pediatric nursing programs: the Erasmus MC Healthcare Academy, the VU-Amstel Academy Amsterdam, and the Radboud Health Academy.

Psychosocial aspects training module

The letter from Neeltje Staats

Give parents time and opportunity to recover somewhat

Working on reimbursement for aftercare

Currently, there is no reimbursement available for families for aftercare consultations. The Dutch Healthcare Institute considers aftercare to be covered by the Health Insurance Act (Zvw) and the Long-Term Care Act (Wlz). In practice, however, there is no separate reimbursement for it. Current care rates usually allow for one or two consultations, which is insufficient for many families. Research shows that healthcare providers often provide additional aftercare on a voluntary basis. This is caring and valuable, but not a permanent solution.

Together with parents, advocacy and professional associations, and the trade association for integrated childcare (BINKZ), we are working on a clear definition of what constitutes good aftercare and the level of support families need. If this definition and scope are covered by insured care, we will advocate for appropriate reimbursement. This ensures that families can count on the aftercare they need after the death of their child, provided by healthcare providers they already know. These include not only medical specialists but also pediatric nurses in tertiary, secondary, or primary care settings, general practitioners, and other healthcare professionals such as physiotherapists.

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